Monday, August 27, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
We have been home three weeks now and although I have to keep remembering, that really isn't very long, it still is beginning to seem at times that we have had Beti and Haile for way longer then that. I am starting to see glimpses of the beauty of adoption. When he hugs my neck tight at night when I am tucking him in, when she comes up and gives me a bear hug and says, "Love you" with her Amharic accent. :-) How she will snuggle with us both on the couch to watch a movie, or rock with me on the front porch in my lap. Haile's way of really wanting to learn all that he can and his true love for the game of soccer. How he greets close friends and family with a bear hug. All of these things are things that I hang on to during the more difficult moments, like the whining, crying big tears, or begging. Those times when I feel like trying to parent eight kids is something that takes the patient's of a saint (which I don't have by the way). Someone is always needing me, needing something, saying, "MOM". But at the end of the LONG day, when I crawl into bed, totally exhausted in every sense of the word, and wondering how tomorrow will go, I pray that He will continue sustaining our family and I just know that He will. My faith and trust is in the Lord and that is who allows us to keep on working and growing. He got us to this point, He won't let us go.
I would say that right now, my biggest issue is fear.
Fear is defined as:
"A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm.
However, the antonyms of fear are: courage, security, calm, intrepidity.
I have to say that I have felt all of the feelings of fear at some point on this post-adoption journey, but I am looking toward the goal and beginning to feel more of a sense of the antonyms of fear.I know that God has got this, he Has us in His hand, but my mind and the spiritual attacks that I feel each day with the constant worry in my mind, is hard. I am human, I am weak, and yet He is strong. Adoption is SO a spiritual battle, and no one can argue this with me now that we are in it. I feel it, I know Satan hates adoption, he hates bringing children into Christian families, and so on top of the emotional and mental and physical exhaustion, I also have to remember that it is spiritual exhaustion. But I feel that in this time, this time that feels SO hard during some moments, God is carrying us, dragging us, leading us on. So, we keep walking (or crawling sometimes) and He IS HERE! He has the future, he has these kids futures, and it is during these tough times that we cling to Him the most. That's right where he wants us I am finding, clinging to Him and with Him. So, the growth that comes from hard times is amazing to see and to experience too. It is in these moments that our focus has to remain on Him and He is what gives us the strength to do what he called us to do. It is truly amazing and I am so thankful that we are experiencing it, even though it is hard. But hard can be good, for we are growing the most when we are having growing pains.
This week was a great time of bonding and rest. We just got home from a week away as a family. We get the privilege each year of going out to Antelope, Oregon to Washington Family Ranch with Young Life and I am the camp nurse there, so our family goes free. It is a total blessing and a vacation for us! Here are some pictures of the week we just spent there. IT WAS HOT- 103 for most of the week, but we had a good time of bonding and it was SO great to have Adam there with me and helping me all week! We had a couple adoptive parent's there that said they couldn't believe that the kids had only been home a little over two weeks, that they seem to be so well adjusted and doing great. This was a great encouragement to us! Haile's English is fairly good and he seems to be smart. He already is counting money, writing things in English and trying to learn. We feel these are good signs. Here are pictures from our Young Life week-
|THE MUD PIT- A.K.A, RUIN YOUR EYES PIT! :-)|
As we start a new week, my prayer is that I will be filled with peace, that I will be able to stop the "what-if's" from creeping in all of the time, and that I will just enjoy the moments that we have. In just two weeks all of our kids will start school, and everyone except Jacob will be going to a new school this year, one that has ESL for Haile and Beti. This will be a big change again on everyone, but we really feel that it will also be a good one. The school is still very small and is Kg-8th grade and it has one of the best ESL teachers in the district, we are told. Our kids are pretty excited, and nervous, but they know that they will be making new friends and having new adventures. Just pray for everyone as school starts to be at peace and have a willing heart.
On another note, we had our first adoption-post-placement visit tonight with our awesome caseworker, Carrie. I LOVE this lady, she is simply amazing! It all went good and she feels that things are going really well. This made me feel more peace and just reassurance that we will get there.
Thank you for your prayers for our family. We feel them and can't tell you how much they are helping us! We are so blessed still to be getting meals most nights this week-it is a load off of my back to not have to worry about dinner right now, so THANK YOU! Call us or e-mail anytime, I love the communication with people, it helps to ease the anxiety and keeps me grounded! :-) Love to each of you!
Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Our Airport Homecoming for our 2nd Adoption~
|A photo slideshow by Smilebox|
Seble's Referral Video
|Free slideshow personalized with Smilebox|
"Although it may not always be obvious to us, there seems to be one distinct moment when God begins a new story in each of our lives. He writes words on our hearts that long to be spoken and strain to be lived out. Then with His own great hand, He begins to write the script. Experience by experience through seemingly ordinary days, He supernaturally orders our lives. Only when we look back and reflect on what appeared to have been the ordinary events of life does it become clear what a miracle the Lord has performed." Jan Beazely