Our Hearts are Sad with the unknown

Hey there-so, wanted to let you know the not so good news, our hearts are burdened and we are just in a hard place-I have cried and feel plain sick-as we try and adjust to this new turn of events.
The Ethiopian government is now going to require TWO trips for families adopting from Ethiopia-one 2 or so weeks after referral-Both parents have to go on this one-we go there for a week, sign papers that YES this WAS the baby we were referred, then we have to LEAVE her there at the orphanage and come home! I just don't know how I will do that!! Our adoption agency has nothing to do with this-they are practicing ethically and can't change a government ordinance-we knew international adoption was risky-and things can change in the blink of an eye, it is just hard!
During this time, IF the birth family came back and wanted her back, they could and we would start this process all over again-at the top of the wait list.
Then about 6-8 weeks after getting home from the first trip, we fly back to get her....during the 6-8 week time frame we would have passed court-hopefully on the 1st try in Ethiopia-but it is a 50/50 chance, so if not the first time, that could delay us another couple weeks.
So, first of all -HOW can I go and see her and only visit her at Hannah's Hope for a week, only to leave her there?! Plus, how do I bond in my mind when I know that the mom could come back and get her?! It is REALLY rare-but still!
Second, if we are both going to go on both trips and still take Jacob on one of them as planned, we have to now come up with another $5,000-$5,500.....and we were getting so close to being able to say with our nice visa loan and ALL the fundraising that we were almost there-well, not now.
This also takes us both from another week of work and uses up or time off that we have-which is not much to go there and not spend a week home after we get her home.
There are just so many WHYs to this! I can't figure out what is good about it all.....oh and they say they are doing this due to the fact that there have been 40 some adoptions occur in the country, families go over to get their child and tell the government that NO this wasn't the child I was referred-either they look bigger, don't look healthy, something is wrong and the family doesn't want them-well under Ethiopian law, once a child has an accepted referral, then they can't ever be adopted out again IF that family were to change their minds-so the government is trying to prevent this from happening ever and with all the heat the press has given the country on child trafficking, they hope to eliminate it. This is hard to swallow as we are using one of the most reputable agencies around that isn't taking part in these unethical practices and yet, WE are still being punished.
Overall, I KNOW in my head that God is in control, HE has a plan and this is happening for a reason, but my heart is SO SO sad and hurt and angry at this all. We struggled with everything to get pregnant with all of our kids (except one) with surgery's, medication, IVF, etc... and now I feel-why do we also have to struggle to get her?!
On another note, at this point, Adam says he just CAN'T bear the thought of flying over TWICE-he says he is terrified (as am I) of flying in the first place, but that more important, he says he can't risk something happening to both of us-that one time is enough risk with leaving our other kids here-and that if something happened, they would all be left alone with neither one of us for a parent....he thinks we should both go and take Jake the first time-like we planned, and then I should go get her the second either by myself, or with Jake or Cassidy, or with a friend or something.....how can I get someone to spend $2,000 on a ticket?! I guess if we raise enough money, we could buy it, but that is a lot to ask someone to just fork over on their own-but on the other hand-if we paid for everything else (hotel, food, etc....), it is cheap to go to Africa for $2,000 too I guess, a once in a lifetime chance-kind of ya know? They would have to have immunizations and passport, etc.....
Adam says he needs to process this some and then maybe he will change his mind-I don't want to leave our kids here twice either-but like a mother tiger that comes out-if OUR baby girl is over there-I will do anything and everything to get her home-just like if it was one of our bio. kids! We will keep talking on it-I do see his point cause I am feeling the same way-but I also don't want to go alone and would miss him and the kids and be terrified that something would happen to me-but once again-Give it to God I know! :-)
Ok-sorry so long-thanks for listening! AGCI (our adoption agency) is having another conference call with Ethiopia families today at 3-4, I missed the one yesterday when they first announced it cause I was at work-I guess it could have been worse, they could have closed down or made families go for a month like some government in different countries do-so I am trying to look on any bright side I can find! :-)
Pray for us-for peace for decision making-we have a lot to process and decide and re-plan! Thanks guys-amber
Once AGAIN-"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9